Fighter, Lover, Killer, Idiot
by BritchesAndHose
Summary: In hopes of soothing DWMA's ruffled feathers after Asura's awakening, Lord Death calls in two partners who's souls have an unnatural calming effect on other people. One's a soft-spoken girl with a kind heart and the other is simply an idiot. United with the Soul Eater team, they may just have a chance to fight back against the Kishin madness. But probably not. KidXOC. CronaXOC.


Death the Kid pulled his cape closer to his chest as he walked. It was absolutely glacial so late at night and there was no way he was going to allow himself to catch a cold. He could imagine it now. So many asymmetrical tissues, so many absolutely geometrically repulsive bowls of chicken soup, and so many sleepless nights. The young man shivered in disgust as he walked.

Kid tightened his grip on the identical pistols hanging from his fingers as he approached his dangerous destination. He hadn't wanted to spend his night scrounging around in the drug addicts and prostitutes section of town but apparently it was necessary. His eccentric father had said something cryptic about "procuring outside assistance." Whatever that meant. Kid normally would have asked at least a few questions to clarify his assignment, but avoiding his father was something he took a strange amount of pride in.

The boy carefully pulled a mask down over his face to keep it hidden from view. He had been advised that some of the residents in this particular section of town could get rather testy at the sight of an outsider. Kid marched forwards at a steady pace as he decided to keep his mind busy with not-so-trivial thought. It had become apparent that Marie was no longer having a positive effect on the students at DWMA.

There was such serious talk of a demon weapon and, worse yet, this new discovery of Eibon. It was all so confusing and sudden. And probably quite asymmetrical, too, if one looked at it in the right light. But, for the first time, Kid wasn't paying attention to the possible uneven qualities of the recent string of odd events. In fact, he wasn't paying attention at all. So it was no surprise when he ran head first into a metal door. A pair of yellowed and bloodshot eyes peeked through a small slit in the giant barrier.

"State your business." a voice just dark and terrifying enough to match the eyes came through. Kid brushed off his cape and mask before speaking,

"I'm here for the Bumblebee and the Badger." he rolled his eyes slightly at the ridiculous aliases chosen by whomever he was going to take back to the academy. Hopefully they'd stick to actual names after they left whatever nasty bar they were residing in. Kid was near positive it was called 'Glacier', though, because of the enormous neon sign perched just above the door.

The small slit the man had poked his nasty eyes through was slammed shut and the sound of deadbolts being tucked away followed soon after. Death the Kid was led into the most geometrically offensive place he'd ever seen. Possibly the most symmetrically offensive place in current existence. So it was no surprise when Kid spat a mouthful of blood onto the poorly crafted wood flooring. There were puddles of booze, mountains of broken glass, and outcroppings of sweaty old men everywhere. Kid focused his entire being on the task at hand.

The targets he was looking for hadn't come with any description other than something about them being the "Loudest young whippersnappers in the bar." Kid let out a grumble as he recalled his father's extremely unprofessional words. As little as he wanted to, he commanded all his mental capacity to focus on scanning the room for said rambunctious whippersnappers.

This would be a challenge. It appeared the youngest person residing in the facility was about fifty years old. Kid couldn't imagine anyone that age being of any use to Shibusen so he continued picking his way through the bar; fighting off the symmetry tantrum he was mere moments away from throwing. The young shinigami soon stumbled upon a particularly rowdy group of men surrounding the sounds of a guitar and an accordion.

Whoever was playing them was being extraordinarily loud; playing with such volume Kid strained himself attempting to make out the screeches of two somewhat feminine voices. The key word being somewhat. Had Kid been in any other situation he would have identified the singers as men, but here everyone spoke in a baritone so ridiculously low that two tenors sounded positively angelic. The young man decided it would be best to wait in the corner and watch for a few moments before moving in. With any luck the crowd would dissipate and he could catch a glimpse of the musicians.

"Bumblebee, play us another!" an unimportant background character whined as the blaring accordion music came to an end. The large cluster of old men roared out various encouraging proclamations. It became obvious to Kid that everyone in the bar was only there to partake in the very strange pairing of accordion and guitar.

He watched with eager eyes as two young women emerged from the crowd, toting big smiles and colorful instruments as they seated themselves at an equally kaleidoscopic piano. Kid's golden eyes pricked up and his lips grew taunt over his teeth. He watched with an eager grin as the children perched themselves at the piano. One of the females had buzzed her chestnut hair into a boyish style while the other let her curly orange locks flop around ridiculously. The redhead was dressed in a stained white T-shirt and a pair of the brightest pajama pants Kid had ever laid eyes on. They were large and billowy, decorated with enormous squares of neon color that formed a dysfunctional checkerboard. The brunette took a much classier route.

Her body was sheathed by a freshly washed, pink tank top and her legs were covered by a heavy skirt that extended down to her ankles. The skirt's design mimicked her partner's pants but in a much nicer manner. The squares of color had been sewn on exactly instead of simply being a wild mish-mash of overlapping corners and multicolored stitching. The ginger female hopped on to the very top of the piano and regained control over her accordion as partner began tapping out sweet notes on the piano.

Something strange happened as Kid stared at the two girls. He started to feel relaxed. Kid hardly ever felt relaxed, and if he did feel relaxed it would only ever occur in a perfectly symmetrical area. Not in a crowded bar surrounded by drunken old men who sung along to the strange music played by a ginger and her clean cut acquaintance. Definitely not.

Yet Kid felt the embrace of a warm blanket curl around the very depths of his soul and scoop him into a motherly hug. Ah, yes. This was nice. It felt good to relax every once in a while. Kid had entirely forgotten what relaxation was what with his OCD running rampant. It seemed as though even his weapons, the Thompson sisters, were having their ruffled feathers smoothed back into place.

"... And that's why you should never stab a homeless man with a fork." the redhead sang the last few bars of her song and cackled a witchy laugh as her partner wrapped everything up with a few final notes. Kid pricked back up from his relaxation immediately, silently wishing he had been coherent enough to listen to the entire piece. The ginger's chestnut haired friend excused herself from the piano politely before rushing over to greet the young man sent from the Death Weapon Meister Academy. She knew her overly zealous partner would be able to keep their current customers entertained long enough for her to welcome the dapper boy to the establishment.

"Hello," she smiled widely as she bowed,

"I'm Timothy, but you and your weapons should feel free to call me Badger."

"Ah, yes, it's a pleasure to meet you, Timothy. I'm Death the Kid, but you may certainly address me as Kid." he said formally, removing his mask and bowing along while trying to avoid looking down at the poorly crafted floorboards. The two shook hands eagerly. Neither had expected the other to be so respectful and official. Kid took a large amount of solace in Timothy's symmetrical appearance as well. She wasn't perfect, but she was remarkably even when sliced down the middle.

"I'm aware that Bumblebee and I will be working closely alongside Lord Death and the students at Shibusen and that Lord Death will be helping us settle in when we arrive. My only question is when you will be taking us." Timothy said. Kid paused for a moment to think before speaking,

"I suppose we will take you whenever you and-"

"Boredom, party of two," the chipper voice of an unkempt redhead burst into the conversation. She had decided to act out a little scene,

"Ah, yes, ma'am right this way. The main course tonight is braised crippling depression with a red wine reduction and the desert is a decadent sexless love life soufflé with a raspberry coulis. Would you like to start the meal off with a rich bowl of apathy or some crisp, freshly harvested monotony leaves? Oh, and also, would you care for a bottle of our finest aged tedium?" the redhead stopped for a gasp of air before continuing her insult,

"That's what would happen to you two at a restaurant, you'd be boring and terrible!" the ginger let out another ridiculous cackle.

"Ah... Yes... Kid this is my meister St-" Timothy began before being harshly interrupted.

"Stevenson Wilkes; Fighter, lover, killer, idiot." she grinned, describing herself in the four words that had been brought into existence entirely for her sake.

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_Hey there~ It's my very first story so hopefully you dudes liked it. I don't have much else to say other than REVIEW. And fav and sub or whatever_**_! Just tell me what you think!_**

**_~BAH_**


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